I am the end upon which there can be no reflection.

My mother made it through the night. The surgery was successful

She's not out of the woods yet.

more to come

T

so tired

must make this quick...

Noclave report... the short version.

Vampire was an utter let down.

Garou rocked harder then I thought it would.

All in all

My expectations were met, though not in a way I thought they would be... so... were they really met?

I must not think such things If I were me... and I am... so... I'm stopping now...

really.

Traceratops
Who is tired enough to eat a cow

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/8230504.stm

This may be the end of an era...

~T

ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!

So sore and tired...

BUT!!!
I rocked the house down at Amtgard again today... Got another Relic, the Ring of power... That plus the Dagger of infinite penetration = Teh AWESOME!

Fear my flurby majesty... and I got a potential player for a Larp out here... this excites me!

Tracer
Who is tired... very tired.

Dear Metagamer,

Fuck you... Fuck you in the face GOD DAMN YOU!

You know who you are... fix you shit and come correct or die in a fire.

thanks is all,
T

So...

I don't know when or why or how it happened... but I'm happy again.

I have no idea how many months I've spent in some waxing/waning gravity well of depression and angst... but it's gone.

I can breathe.

Maybe it's the endorphins of regularly running around like crazy...

Maybe I've just spend enough time healing...

Maybeit's my SAD resetting itself...

Maybe it's that I am drinking semi-regularly again...

Maybe it's hitting a happy amount of activity in my daily running about...

I wont judge it...

I'll just be it.

Tracy
Who applied for a new job today, so please please please send some good energy my way!

Hrmph....

I find that every day I have a new outlook and a new way of looking at and feeling things. I think this might be normal for some folks but generally I would suspect it would need to be a gradual change for it to be truely considered normal.

It's not gradual with me.

There are some days where I want to burn the world to it's core and blast it to glass through the shear heat of my undying hatred.

There are some days where I just want some good chinese food and a House marathon.

There are some days Where I feel like I actually feel the weight of my experiantial knowledge is not crushing me and I can enjoy what little proximity to enlightenment that I have.

There are some days I want to let it all go and say everything that comes to mind and worse... do it all too.

There are some days Where I think about Andy And Steve and wonder if they made the right choice.

There are some days where my future is sucking me forward...

There are some days where my past is holding me back...


I wouldn't mind these feelings... but they are all so drastic and all so horribly differant in terms of internal feeling... I was Diagnosed with Manic Depression as a Child. My mother took me in for a psych evaluation after I burned our house down... And that began an almost decade long battle with therapy. It never worked... They never got anything out of me and I never got anything out of the sessions. They drugged me up and sent me on my way.

One day I just knew I wanted it to stop.

I'm still pretty sure I'm still messed up from those meds. I hated them.

So here I am... a 28 year old man... What have I got to show for it? I live in someone elses basement in Lincoln Nebraska. Hmph... most days I would rail against such a consignment... But I know I'm far from done with this life if I can help it. Onward it is for me then...

Still smiling,
Tracy
Who's had a really solid couple of days, and is now on something of a down swing but trying to keep enough light in his pocket to see him through.

You will be missed. You brought style and edge to the world of music.

Anyone on Twitter? Trying to decide if I have enough reason to seriously look at using it.

Tracy

Alright...

After some thought I have decided to readress the question of a Larp out here in No wherezville...

How should I go about it? It would be much easier if I had some kind of player base for it. (one group I am involved with is to put it plainly... chicken shit... and the other left old WOD LONG ago.)

I've tried contacting two Omaha Larps that I could ind reference too but I think they both might be defunct...

My course of action can really only be to Put up flyers and crap at local gaming shops (Of which there are not many)... It would be so valuable to actually have some kind of established player base though... *Sigh*....

Please folks... I need help... I need idea's... I know most of you rarely say anything on my posts (I can't blame you really... I'm an outright DEPRESSING person to read about... especially since I really only post sad, crazy, depressing shit.) but I could REALLY use your help here.

thanks,
Tracer
Brought to you by Happypost.

There is a line from a song that I feel sums up the flavor of hope I have in my life right now...

"If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there".

Yeah... like that.

tracer
lookin' at roads

And maybe the coolest part of last weekend... and I totally forgot to mention it...

The place had a bathroom attendant who just so happened to be a little person. He rocked.

Tracer

2 of my last 5 posts have been "Happy"... YAY!

Tracer

I may have found a way to keep myself inolved in and continue enjoying the game. Lord knows I have plenty of time in which to actually do something with the project if I end up being it's leader, but this is not a certain thing. We shall see I s'pose.

Tracer

Today is gonna be differant... I can feel it.

Tracer

So my favorite new pop band is called..... (Drummroll)

INFERNAL

*Dies*
DAMN YOU SERENDIPITY!!!!
Tracer

Imagine that you have a box, and inside the box are seven items that perfectly describe your character. From their thoughts, ambitions, history, physical characteristics, etc. You can even go into detail on what KIND of box that your seven items are in.

Ciro's Box : A Large Ebony humidor type of thing with Ivory accents.

1) A Badly beaten up copy of Watership Down in Italian
2) A neatly folded and somewhat faded but beautifully drawn map of Florence.
3) A Faded Sepia Tone Photograph of a Dark and exspansive library.
4) A photograph of Francis and Jonathan Giovanni
5) A Palm tree Leaf
6) A yellowed bed sheet of some apparent age with the silohette of a womans body somehow imprinted.
7) A pile of dust in the corner of the box... it was something else once... but what is anyones guess.

Severin's Box: A Small but ornate Silver chest with a Cadeceus staff and a Ventrue Scepter crossing on the top of it. It is similarly adorned with various Coats of Arms in relief, most of which display the cross of the Knights Hospitaller.

1)A Small brown robe of some extreme age. somewhat similar to a Friars robe.
2) A Plague Doctors mask and hat and clothing... a neatly folded and smelling strongly of some potpurri
3)A stone that has some primitive mortor stuck to it, a faded inscription in Euskara can barely be made out on it.
4)A small leather sleeve full of hand drawn sketches... 52 of them. Many of the subject of them look as to have survived a horrible affliction or another.
5)An Eye patch. Simple and made of black leather.
6)A second leather sleeve full of photographs, not sketches, of his patients... some of them are visibly scared, but all are smiling.
7)An Iron ring